Most people dream of reaching orgasm during sex or solo play, but some get off from giving their partner complete control over when, how, and if they orgasm. Yes, you read that right—female orgasm denial is totally a thing that some people are into, and it’s a super hot way to spice up your next solo session or surprise your partner with some light BDSM.
Typically, it involves getting to the brink of orgasm, then stopping, slowing down, and getting back to the edge of orgasm—only to deny yourself the big O over and over again.
If you’re curious, here’s what you should know about orgasm denial before trying to deny your (or someone else’s) next orgasm.
What Is Female Orgasm Denial?
Female orgasm denial is a type of control play in BDSM where the dominant partner orders the submissive partner not to orgasm—or one partner puts their ability to orgasm in the hands of their partner (literally). It’s all about teasing your partner until they’re on the edge and then leaving them hanging.
And even though it sounds pretty similar to edging, it’s a little bit different. Female orgasm denial and edging both delay orgasm, but they have different end goals. When you’re “edging,” you’re drawing out the tension and simulation for a long time—but the end goal is an intense orgasm. With orgasm denial, orgasm isn’t even on the menu.
If the idea of orgasm denial gets the juices flowing, why not try it during your next solo sesh? You might try denying yourself as a sexy form of self-control—or dedicating yourself to something other than sexual feeling, like the magic of self-connection that comes with meditative masturbation.
Benefits of Female Orgasm Denial
Bringing yourself to the edge of orgasm and then denying yourself might not sound like your cup of tea, so what’s the big deal?
For one, orgasm denial is a huge fetish (especially among men). Even though it’s common for men to fantasize about ruined orgasms, some women find it sexy, too.
Basically, the excitement boils down to not having control. If you’re into power play, giving your partner the ability to choose when, where, how, and if you orgasm can be super hot. It can help you last longer in the bedroom, and by the time you finally do get to cum, it feels amazing.
So, whether you’re into BDSM or power play, try giving your partner (or your vibrator) control next time. Who knows? You might be way more into it than you expected.
Experimenting With Vibrator Orgasm Denial
Want to experiment with orgasm denial during your next self-pleasure sesh? Your vibrator will be your best friend. If you’re new to orgasm denial (or you’ve never tried edging before), prep yourself for an intense vibrator orgasm denial session by holding off on cumming for longer and longer periods.
Now that you’re a pro at edging, the fun can begin. Focus on doing whatever makes you feel good, whether that’s teasing your erogenous zones or stimulating your G-spot until you’re soaking wet and hypersensitive. You’ll naturally feel less need to control yourself as oxytocin floods your body.
From that point, you’re going to want a powerful, playful vibrator. Play with the settings to bring yourself to the edge of orgasm, but avoid allowing yourself the release. You’ll probably feel a confused, euphoric mix of anticipation, excitement, and pleasure (in the best way possible).
How To Master Orgasm Denial
Now that you’ve mastered the art of edging, you can show your partner exactly how it’s done. Start simple. That might mean starting with roleplay, like one partner being bossier in bed, before moving on to something more immersive like full-on orgasm denial.
When you’re ready to turn up the heat, try edging yourselves in front of each other, one at a time. Let your partner watch as you bring yourself close to orgasm. This way, they’ll get more familiar with your process and start recognizing your “point of no return.”
Now, it’s time to let your partner take control. Start masturbating in front of your partner while they direct your process—or start with some tantalizing foreplay and move on to penetration. When your partner notices you start to get really aroused, it’s time to take a break.
You might tell them when you’re getting too close or even give them a signal when you’re approaching orgasm. Take 30 seconds to a minute of break time, and then start up again. Your partner has complete control here—it’s all up to them to decide when (and if) you get to cum.
If you’re ready to take your power play to the next level, try playing with orgasm control together. You might experiment with new positions and toys while giving your partner control over your orgasm—or create punishments for when one partner orgasms before they were supposed. For some more excitement, you can play up your power dynamics with dirty talk, bondage, or chastity devices.
How To Start Edging During Female Orgasm Denial
Wondering how to stay on edge with female orgasm denial? Some find it much easier to stay on edge during female orgasm denial than others. For most vulva-owners, it just takes some practice to reach a super-heightened state of arousal where you know just a little bit more pressure would take you over the edge. The key is to figure out exactly what you’re able to handle to stay on the edge.
Meanwhile, others can reach the edge but then have to drop back, so “riding the edge” is more about bouncing up and down. And that’s perfectly fine—but reaching (and staying) on the edge can help you enjoy some seriously good sensations.
Take Control of Your Pleasure
Whether you’re into power play or fantasizing about a more intense orgasm, female orgasm denial can be life-changing. But to really master the art of orgasm denial, you’re going to need a helping hand.
When it comes to riding the edge, the Iridescence Vibrator is one of the best tools for the job—she’s super powerful, but her lower settings are ideal for starting the build-up. With an external pleasure point to tease your clit and an internal pleasure point to stimulate your G-spot, you’ll have no trouble edging over and over again.
Order your Iridescence today to amplify your solo fantasies—or surprise your partner with sensations they’ll never forget.