Your vibrator doesn’t have to hide out in your nightstand when your partner comes to bed. If you’re ready to add some more fun to the bedroom and blend the joys of self-pleasure and partner sex, consider adding a vibrator to the mix.
Having sex with a toy can intensify your sexual experiences, giving you more reason to linger in foreplay longer and providing a little extra vibrating pleasure for a fuller, more euphoric orgasm. It can also be a fun way to explore each other’s bodies and pleasure points and make the whole “self-pleasure” thing less awkward when you do just want some one-on-one time with your vibrator.
Still, introducing your buzzing best friend to the bedroom can feel a little awkward, especially if you and your partner haven’t experimented with many toys in the past. If you’ve been dying to give your partner a turn at the wheel but aren’t sure how to steer the conversation, follow these tips.
Just talk about it
Sex talk isn’t always dirty. Sometimes we have to discuss things that feel awkward so that our partners (and ourselves) feel safe and comfortable in the act. If you and your partner haven’t experimented with toys in the past, bringing up your vibrator can naturally feel a little intimidating. However, you may be surprised by their response.
While some partners may feel “threatened” or “replaced,” many partners can be surprisingly open to it. Typically, a negative reaction is a sign of other issues or insecurities in the bedroom that goes beyond the addition of a toy—though some people may just not be into it.
Still, when broaching the subject, try to create a safe, open space. This usually means inquiring about it before the clothes come up. It doesn’t have to be serious, though. You may even want to start the conversation off with a playful question, like, “would you find it sexy if I let you play with me using a vibrator?” See how your partner responds from there and continue with a curious, open mind, and allow your partner to express their concerns and excitement.
Remember, it’s better for both of you
When expressing your desire to add a vibrator, remind your partner that it isn’t just for you.
Even if your vibrator is specially designed for female pleasure, G-Spot vibrators can also be used to get the blood flowing to male parts. You can place the crown or shaft of your vibrator on or around the tip of the penis, the perineum, and the balls to bring more intense sensations. You don’t even have to use the vibrator on the genitals. Vibration can bring added pleasure to any erogenous zone. Rubbing it along the neck or circling the crown of the vibrator around the nipples can heighten arousal and enhance your cravings.
Discussing all the ways you can play may just change your man’s mind—and if your partner has a vulva, well, you can certainly use that perfectly-tilted head to help stimulate her g-spot while also providing an intense, steady pressure to her clit. You may even consider adding oral to the mix, giving her a mix of sensations she can’t help but cum to.
Start with your tried and true
There are plenty of options when it comes to shopping for a vibrator. However, while it can be fun to find the perfect toy together, partners who aren’t too sure about the addition may feel overwhelmed by the various shapes, sizes, and functions. Instead, start with what you know—and yes, even if it’s a full-sized vibrator!
At the end of the day, a good sexual partner enjoys pleasuring us (or watching us pleasure ourselves). So, choosing a vibrator that you know hits all of your spots could be exactly what you need to excite your partner and coax them to give it a try.
If you don’t have a vibrator already, consider starting with something simple yet powerful that will give you a variety of ways to play. The best vibrators are 100% waterproof, quiet, and made with body-safe silicone. Choosing something with various speed and intensity settings can also make it easier to adjust power settings based on the sensitivity of each area you’re playing with.
Take some time to explore together
When it’s time to bring the vibrator to bed, make it a shared experience and start slow. You might ask your partner to use the new toy as a supplement to oral sex, or your can place it on the clit or perineum during sex for added pleasure. You can add in words of encouragement to let them know just how good they are using the toy on you.
If your partner is unsure where to start, ask them if they’d like them to watch you bring yourself to climax. This can act as a super sexy how-to instruction guide for using the toy and how you like to be touched. Once they get the gist of it, you can hand the reigns over and let them explore your body. Be sure to be patient and give your partner time to explore your body and measure your reactions. Giving them more control over the experience can help them feel more prominent in the process and may help with issues of insecurity.
Take your sex life to the next level
Talking to your partner about your sexual desires is easier than you might think, and the orgasms that are bound to come from it are well worth it. If you’re shopping for the perfect addition to your bedroom play, consider the Iridescence Vibrator. Built with 12 powerful vibration settings, two pleasure points, smooth silicone material, and the perfect curve to fit the hand, it will instantly become your favorite toy for many sex sessions to come.
Order your Iridescence Vibrator today and start enhancing your sex life.